My parents are 85 and 87 years old. They live with my sister and I. We are in our mid 50s. The agreement was they could live with us until they could not take care of themselves anymore and we have been at this point for probably a year. My mother got a bout of sciatica a year and a half ago, and it took her months of convincing to get her to go to the hospital. She finally went because she was stuck in her bed. Within several weeks of taking the medication, she was better and was able to get around with her walker but she was still in pain complaining about things hurting her. She refused physical therapy. Before you know it, my mom was back in the bed, and that was a year ago, and now she is completely bedbound. My mom also has macular degeneration and is for all intents and purposes, blind now. All she does is lay in bed and does nothing else. My dad is 85, and he has dementia and has had it for several years. His memory is so bad, but he still knows who we all are. He can walk and get around slowly. He knows how to dress himself. Go to the bathroom on his own, eat his food, clean himself up and get dressed. He is unable to cook his own meals or really help in any other normal way at all. My sister and I have been doing the best we can, but it's to the point where we just can't care for them anymore. My dad has fallen multiple times, put holes in the walls falling. He is using a Walker. He has had physical therapy. He's broken the toilet by falling back. It's gotten really ridiculous in our house and we need help. We have contacted outside sources who are not willing to help us due to their lack of good insurance. Lately, my mother has been laying in bed feeling sorry for herself and I understand that she doesn't want to be in the bed, but we attempted to have physical therapy come out again. She refused saying they won't be able to help her. She screams, yells, has fits, and literally because she can't get up...she has to poop on a dog pad on the bed. Then she sort of just throws everything wherever it lands, whether it's the garbage can the floor and she doesn't care at all. My sister and I are the ones that have to clean it up. Not to mention, she has to wear depends because she has incontinence. She doesn't want to clean herself no matter how much we try to help her.She doesn't want to do anything for herself. We can't even get her to the doctor because she's too weak from not walking to even get up, and all she wants to do is scream and yell at us, call us names, and it's just acting really strange. She has said some ungodly things to my sister and I. She keeps saying, get me out of here or i'm gonna kill myself. We have decided we have to call an ambulance. Once they get her to the hospital, maybe they can deal with her. She agrees to go, and every time we're gonna call the ambulance, she tells us no, and tells us that she has the right to refuse to go, but I definitely think there's something really wrong with her. Maybe infection or something. The things she's been saying, the way she's been acting. Something has to be wrong. Her kidney numbers were really bad as a nurse came out here and drew her blood several weeks ago. But the doctor's office really doesn't have any solution for us due to her age and lack of mobility. We don't know what to do. Can my mother refuse to go to the hospital? My dad also gets added in the mix, yelling. No, she can stay! Getting aggressive towards us. Can someone please advise us how to get them out of our house into the care they need when they have no money? And their insurance doesn't cover anything long term care. Someone suggested to me to get them to the hospital. Especially my mother first and they can apply for medicaid through a social worker at the hospital. Help us! please
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